“IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!!” yelled Noddy Holder, about 3:27 seconds into Slade’s perpetual festive hit Merry Xmas Everyone, and although it’s a little too early for some to be thinking about their Christmas shopping list (I’m with you, Christmas Eve shoppers), we at TGL towers have been working away on a little something for you.

I’ll be honest, it’s not serious, it isn’t a new release (you’ll have to wait until the new year for that), and it isn’t going to take the world by storm, but it is a little fun thing from us to you that will hopefully instil some festive cheer into those with Grinchy hearts. In short, it’s us looking like festive twats singing festive songs to try and raise our profile on TikTok (go follow), but it’s also a nice way for us to get together and do what we’re (relatively) good at, drink some Baileys and chat shit about shit. Keep your eyes peeled for that little series, which I think starts next week. I’m sure we’ll announce it somewhere.

Other news involves Anna getting a few plays across Kerrang! Radio this week, the Tories continuing to be loathsome arsehats, and I’m now Diamond 1 Division 1 on Rocket League. So a real mixed bag of achievements there.

Listen to the whole show here: https://planetradio.co.uk/kerrang/shows/johnny-doom/

There we go. Although it’s a short one, this is the last blog from me this year. Assuming Boris Johnson doesn’t make any more monumental fuck ups (a big ask, I know), I shall be off to Canada to spend Christmas with my girlfriend and her family next week, so I’ll be very much in holiday mode. I’ll be back in the new year with a blog discussing my predictably unending hangover, how I still can’t ski, and no doubt how Bulk Barn has changed my life (I genuinely think my girlfriend is more excited about introducing me to that store than she is her own parents).

Until then, eat what you want, drink what you want, wear what you want and don’t be a twat to others. And then continue to do that after Christmas.

Merry Christmas, you filthy animals!

Love,

Jason AKA The REAL Santa (identifies as elf)